If Satisfied, Why Still Probing?

If the eyes of true passion are closed to enable the supposed bliss of ignorance, is it ever appropriate for the carnal ineptitude of temporal desire to provide the searing awakening to reality?


Why so cold, when eyes still open? If satisfied, why still probing?


For one the door swings wide, but the lethargy of self-complacence derides all potential positive products. Another, myopic to the latent dream contraceptives, belittles the mind to the point of spectatorial necessity.


Can understanding be achieved through brokenness? Or must destruction be its closest ally?


I’m thinking, among other things, about what David Platt said tonight. He talked about going to the world to make disciples. I don’t want to miss what God’s trying to do in my life. I don’t want to idle for 50 years. Even one year. I am asking for direction. With others, if my life is to intersect, collide, or connect, I want to let God do the directing. How foolish would it be to attempt to attach two lives together that God did not desire, or at an improper moment? As well, how inappropriate would it be to keep individuals apart that God desires together? Some are questions of timing, others of factuality. Some: where—others: when—most: how.

3 Incomplete Poems

What better way to begin my annual blog update then with an introduction to 3 incomplete poems I began multiple years ago. All poems are duplicated "as is." Potential. Maybe I’ll finish them some day.

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MY NEW SHOES

All right, check it out. God gave me these sweet, new reversible shoes! I can run really fast in them, normally... Makes for slipping down hills easy. The supposed joy received through the participation of this revelry is instantly gratifying. But when I wanna change, I just have to stop, kneel down and surrender the hold, release the binds, and reverse the covering. From a standing position anyone can proudly see how abnormally ugly these are in reverse. But while lying prone, can one, then only, fully realize the true majesty and beauty of this gift.

All becomes clear, the “emotionally and physically entreating” side is actually mired in some type of adversely formidable adhesive of my own concoction… Whereas the “ugly and repulsive” side is revisioned to be a thing of actual pure and unadulterated merit.

If the latter article is so retrogradedly abhorrent, perceptively speaking, then why do I insist on having a desire to respond to the all but apparent invitation to wear them, willingly? In like manner, for what reason do I bring for entering into willful fraternization with the attractive, when I am fully aware that it ultimately ends in utter despair, with a deep-rooted, inveterate outcome. 9/30/2009
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Listen, to the cries of my heart. Make meaning to the groanings for which words cannot find place. There is heartbeat, yet not feeling. Feeling, yet not meaning. Meaning, yet not movement. Movement, yet not understanding. Cut through the petty, and interpret the Spirit. 5/2/2010
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The Hammer falls. Who is left standing? What remains unscathed? In which direction does the Arrow point? Disregard the pain. Gather the remaining few. Secure the welcome light of the unveiled horizon.

What a bleak and desolate existence. Devoid of feeling we forge on. 9/1/2009
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God has done too many things in my life since the last post to document effectively right now. I will simply have to let you assume they were immensely life altering. The future appears to represent uncertainty, but the surety I claim rests on reasonable faith in a trustworthy provider. The ability that you possess, that is mediated by Jesus the Christ, to offer intercession on my behalf is greatly and humbly—realizing that I have not the resources sufficient, in myself, to accomplish the required—coveted.