Dating Leads To Sex

Now that I have you reading...

Reading the written words of an individual that has studied a topic in-depth can be an exciting—or dangerous—escapade. I have been doing just that. The name’s Meyer, John Meyer. Providing interesting, thought provoking statements and questions is what his article has done for me. These words have driven my thoughts to the evidentially apparent conclusive outcome of additional written words—my notes on his notes. So, follow me, if you will, to a place where only the unwilling return unchanged.

**Preface**

2 Cor 5:14-
Christ died for me so I can live. When I choose Him, I die. I am a new creation—no longer the same. When I choose me(flesh), the real me(Christ-fed) dies (is dead to me). The requirement is for personal death. This enables the Life Source to resurrect the carcass of potential and, through the instigational process of fusing, provide—not only a foundation, but also—a source of sustenance. Interestingly enough, although both parties grow together, if either were to separate, the growth—and ultimately life itself—would immediately cease. He must live through me, if I am to live at all. When I act outside of my new nature, I am acting outside of God’s nature. This grieves Him, for He loves me.

**End of Preface**

The purpose—the correct answer—of a Christian is to determine, and do, what pleases, honors, or reflects God most.

“When our focus is on pleasing ourselves, we ask the question, “What’s wrong with… (doing this or that)?” When our focus is on living for God we ask, “What’s right with… (or pleasing to God in, this or that)?”” —Meyer

Our mission is to make disciples. This supersedes all other things—even lawful things. “And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. 25 For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? Luke 9:23-25 What things is God calling me to give up—things, even, that are lawful? 1 Cor 10:23

Now, my challenge to all who read this *can you write without reading…?* is to really examine your beliefs. Then compare them with Truth. This may look like Godly individuals close to you, (whether by proximity, or otherwise) the principles of scripture, or possibly even straight-up, intimately personal, communication with the Author of Truth. Whatever the case, choose to make this a time of personal evaluation—with the intent of becoming a bearer of freshly grafted wisdom.
No partiality—1 Tim 5:21

• Appearance

Appearance, huh? Are we talking GQ, or the “flee the of evil” kind?

Culturally speaking, when two individuals of the opposite sex choose to seclude themselves, they communicate—without necessary intention—the desire for partiality. Like I said, this isn’t necessarily a “Dude, check it out, we’re exclusive” type of deal. This could merely be an “Oh, look, you’re just around the corner, out of sight. I need to tell you something and that wall looks heavy and I wouldn’t want you to have to hold it by yourself, so I have to lean one arm on the wall beside you to help hold it up. And there might be baby jackals around and I don’t want to wake them up, because they would cry and alert Mama, and she might go check it out… see us… attack us… and then I would have to protect you—and that might be seen as inappropriate… So, I will speak in this hushed tone” kind of thing.

Like I said, completely unintentional.

This is simply a practical, cultural truth. Whether, or not, this is how it ‘should be,’ that is not what I am arguing. No, this simply is “how it is.” Try out this little evaluative exercise: have you ever seen a pair of oppositely sexed individuals secluding themselves from an obvious grouping of peoples? What did/do you think of these two? Have they done anything wrong? Yet? Ever? Regardless, you have certain ‘normal’ thoughts coursing through your mind because of this visual encounter.

• Exclusivity

Meyer has few good things to say, so I’ll let him.

“Dating relationships, by definition, are relationships where there is partiality. By mutual consent these relationships operate in a realm where others are excluded. The intensity of the dating relationship, especially at a young age, almost always creates a two person clique within whatever group it is part of.”

“The commitment of two [dating] people is higher to their own relationship, which others cannot join, than to the overall mission of the group”

“This higher allegiance existing in the midst of the group makes the statement that the two people have something better than what the group itself can offer, making others feel left out and like they are stuck with the “second rate” until they, too, can find a partner.” —Meyer

The only opposite sex relationship that we have scriptural evidence of supported exclusivity is marriage. **If you disagree with this, I will very much appreciate a reprimandation (I do not wish to speak lies)** Exclusiveness is encouraged here. Partiality is not possible in this example, because it is a God-given situation. In other words: “Only you (hypothetical) and I is a good thing.”

This is God’s design. He created two from one, and then He instituted intimate communion into one from two; ~one became two, two become one.~

• Guard your heart—Prov. 4:23

23Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.

The heart, although not desirous of self injury, does not have its best interests at *cough* heart. Do you let a small, mentally underdeveloped (see how I left some older people in there? Sly…) child choose what, where, when, with whom, why, and for how long? **WARNING**PARENTING TIP** No; of course not. The child will end up injured, if not worse. The child must be trained, and so must the heart. Maybe it would be better put: outside influences must be set in place to protect the desirably unharmed (heart, child, antique porcelain statue of a bowling midget, etc).

• Defraudment

God has designed men and women to be attracted to each other. Engaging in exclusivity progressively draws partners together in a natural and methodical manner; it is the way God designed it. This process is highly desirable for those who wish to be wed; it is God’s plan. To partake of this activity is to begin the process of marriage—combining two into one. This process cannot be severed appropriately, once started, without defraudment. Read that last statement again. Determine if you believe it. If not, why? But Nathan, you’re trying to tell me that once I have begun I can’t stop? Yes, simply. If you aren’t going to keep it, don’t go fishing… ^^But Nathan, it’s pretty… and fun!^^ *Sigh*

“Note that these negative effects do not occur because dating was done “improperly”; they are the result of God’s design operating as He intended but in circumstances He did not intend to happen.” —Meyer

Dating—if not abolished—results in intercourse. Good, right? God desires this. God desires that this process, once started, is carried out. Of course, we are talking about a righteous union. You may want to say marriage—that’s fine. I believe—as do I, God—that marriage and sex are synonymous. 1 Cor 6:15,16
I may receive some flak for that—that’s fine.

Now, please hear me on this (if you don’t have ears to hear, I cannot help you). Word titles and cultural connotations can be very confusing. My goal is not to present a new idea, or to cause conflict; I desire unity! Please do not get ‘hung up’ on the various possible connotative meaning behind the words (such as dating, courting, sex, marriage, etc).

This is what I hope to communicate: do not try to win her/his heart, if your intention is not to vow life-long commitment. Christ is calling us to an all-or-nothing marriage with Himself. And He asks the same with our physical counterpart. Let us not be lukewarm marital partners with our spouse… or our Spouse; we are the bride ~Eph 5.

**Post Face**
Several interesting things to think about. Definitely a challenging message to myself! I pray you are not offended by anything, but rather hear my heart. I present openness, on my part, for a meeting on this topic. As always, I am desirous of your comments—whether they be compliments, rebuttles, recommendations, or face-slappifications!

*~^*Post Face Script*~^*
[This portion was blank… until I wrote upon it.]